Losing it

Control freaks expend considerable energy in manipulating the world around them. There are so many fronts they need to watch for new developments and so many lies they need to maintain. The bigger their ambitions the wider they have to cast their net.

This is why you often see control freaks abandon a whole set of friends when they make it to the next level. It’s not because they don’t like them or don’t think they are good enough for them – it’s because they can save so much energy by not having them on the control list, energy that can be more usefully directed elsewhere.

But even with techniques to reduce the workload there comes a time when all the lies catch up, the effort of controlling the world around gets too much, when it all falls apart. This is as inevitable as day following night, there is no way to avoid it, it is the natural consequence of all that manipulation that it takes its toll inside the mind.

Admittedly for some this might not be apparent, with it looking like they are fully under control throughout their lives but if you look closely for those times when they go rigid, almost wooden, speak through closed lips and have a fixed stare ahead, then they’ve lost it inside and all you can see is the hard shell.

For others it is the cataclysmic breakdown that fiction portrays so well without ever showing the true cause. Every manipulation a control freak attempts is a crime against reality, a headbutt against the brick wall of life and every one has a painful cost in terms of mental health. The dark side of life can contribute significantly to breakdown but if their reaction to the wrongs inflicted on them is to control and manipulate those that are close to them to create a safe bubble, then their demise is guaranteed.

One of the greatest fears that can trigger this is inversion of control. If someone they have spent time boxing in, undermining and otherwise diluting their power, looks like they are unexpectedly about to gain control then that can start the first wobbles. What the control freak cannot cope with is the thought of facing those they see as enemies without that comfort barrier of an imbalance of power. They feel mentally exposed.

Losing it is not the end though, control freaks always bounce back, they have that sheer force of character that will never be lost that enables such resilience. But they have a choice as to how they come back and the wrong choice of trying the same old dishonest manipulation leads inevitably to losing it again sometime later. Like a muscle that snaps, they are forever weakened and all efforts at control strain that same muscle until it gives again.

The other choice, the right one, is epiphany. They can open their soul to feel the pain their actions have caused, feel the pain inside that has motivated them over the years and come out a better person. It might take longer to recover this way but the recovery is permanent and they finally become a useful member of society.